A Professional Defense of Rom-Coms

I get teased more than a little for my media habits. I am an NPR-listening, quinoa-crunching feminist lady, but I have a secret. When it comes time for me to finally settle down and enjoy a moment alone if media is involved? It’s a romantic comedy. And this time of year, that means a hell of a lot of holiday romance movies. 

“But Nikki!” you may say, “They are predictable, and they lack depth, and they always end the same way!” 

And I would give you a sly grin, a winsome wink, and whisper, “Exactly!” 

The first time I sat down to watch television with my now-husband, he was watching a dramatization about Chernobyl. I was coming in a few episodes late, and the one I caught involved a bunch of men and boys finding dogs who may have radiation poisoning and shooting them point blank. This was the singular hour of free time I had that day, and I had to spend it thinking about the horrors of nuclear fallout, the scars on the souls of these men, the loss of life. 

Listen, I believe that being a responsible citizen involves a hell of a lot of uncomfortable, soul-grinding questions. If you haven’t wrestled with your role in globalization, your privilege, and your responsibility to address climate change, there’s a good chance you’re living an inauthentic life. This is not a good time to swim downstream. 

But here’s what I’ll tell you: It’s not a good time to get exhausted, either. It’s not a good time to get hopeless. 

I once heard the phrase, “Not everything that is recreational is re-creational.” Some things you can fill your time with can leave you feeling hurt, lonely, or empty. And sometimes it makes a lot of damn sense to feel a bit hopeless or scared, as a starting place to move in a better direction.

But today? Today, I’m working on issues around the country from choice politics, to hunger, to artistic preservation. And today, I’m damn tired and what I need is to believe in the possibility of a happy ending, to avoid the risk of a 90 minute investment ending in tears. 

So tease all you want, America. I need happy today, so that I can keep showing up tomorrow. I will take it with a side of hot tea and warm socks. 

I know that there isn’t a one size fits all approach that works. Different people need different things, and I’d like to know, what do you need in your life today to keep showing up tomorrow?